Paul Lee
Paul Lee thought his euphoric highs and depressive lows were simply part of being a teenager. His parents and teachers thought so too. It was only when he was in one of his darkest moments of despair, when he lay down on his bed and took what he thought would be enough pills to kill himself, that he knew he was different from most of his teenaged friends. He attempted suicide several times after that incident until someone finally took notice and realized it wasn't just "growing pains" that he was experiencing.
Lee was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a mental illness that makes individuals feel as if they're superhuman and on top of the world one minute as they experience a mania high, and then throws them into the depths of depression with feelings of loneliness, self-loathing and suicide on the other end of the emotional spectrum.
"I was admitted for three months in a psychiatric hospital," Lee said. "That began my journey toward recovery once I accepted the fact that I indeed had a mental illness. That's not something you really want to hear."
Originally a Boston native, Lee went on to college at American University in Washington, D.C., where he earned his undergraduate degree in psychology. However, throughout his college career, he was constantly aware of the fact that he had to face his mental health challenges head-on if he was going to survive and thrive in life. After moving to Arizona in 2001, he found himself still in denial of his diagnosis and neglected taking his medications. His marriage fell apart and he lost several jobs as a result.
"It took losing my wife and my job to make me realize that I was not taking recovery seriously," he said.
Lee found help and support through Maricopa County's mental health system, and he became a peer mentor with Partners In Recovery, one of four adult mental health provider network organizations contracted to provide services for those with mental illness in the county. In the process of pulling his life together and finding rewarding work where he counsels other individuals facing mental health or substance abuse challenges, Lee also found love again.
"Fatefully, I met my soul mate and now my wife, Alana, who said she would love and support me no matter what as long as I stuck to my recovery goals, which I continue to do," Lee said.
Lee continues living up to the promise he made to himself years ago and regularly speaks to groups about his experience and other mental health issues through his membership with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness).
"Mental illness is something I'll always live with, but I can manage it now," he said. "I'm not ashamed of it, and I hope in sharing my story publicly, it will help reduce the stigma and give hope to others."
